Thoughts are made

Going back into the past can not be dwelled upon. If we stay there then we are living in the past. It's OK to revisit the past for remembrance, to reflect on personal growth and for mindfulness for the present. If something in my life hinders my recovery and growth in self,  I can choose to remove it or myself. It's my personal choice and I have to be responsible for my actions and decisions I make in the here and now.
I have serached for many answers on various things in my life, that I feel now come so much more easily then they ever have before. I do sometimes fight the answers I get and try to alter them my way but that has proven to get me no where. Once I started opening up to new ways, ideas, thoughts as I still am working very hard at today as this is all very new to me. I see that things are calmer, I'm able to gather my thoughts  and all these things happen for longer periods of time.

I have to tell myself constantly and be very mindful of what I'm working on and that's me. The only person I can change is me, by making changes in me I can aid in the outcome on things that I'm working on . If I'm happy with what I'm doing and focusing on what I need to be then I feel I'm balancing out all parts of my life, even when my life feels unmanageable it is being managed.

Nothings comes right away or all at once. I believe again there is a reason for this. I wouldn't of been able to recover and learn the lessons and things put forth in front of me and put one foot in front of each other to take each step with to many different answers thrown at me either. It's all an awaking inside of me that is transforming and I'm ready to be apart of what we both have to offer.

So here I am a year later, reflecting on where I was a year ago today and I'm sober, thankfully. Things aren't were I thought they be, change has occurred, it's all apart of my journey in my recovery and I look forward to where this journey takes me as I am shifting gears and focusing my attention on today's blessings and letting go more and more.

Love the one's in your life that are present, that keep showing up, and that love you unconditionally!

Spiritual Experince

I love that my HP has removed the obsession for alcohol from my mind.

Blessings

As over looked the Mississippi River from Downtown Saint Paul, the sun was shining and It was a beautiful moment. Being held there in the warmth of an embrace I surrendered again. I have to surrender to many thing in my life with which I am trying to control and it's against God's Will or way.

The Cathederal in St Paul, is amazing, I prayed there today. I prayed for peace in my realtionships, was thank ful for the opportunities that I have before me and love.

Revealing the past

I'm on a path of recovery directed by my HP and I still have times where I'm controling the hand and it's not something that works for me. When in recovery it's letting go of your past resentments, forgiveness to others and yourself.
My past is still apart of mylife and when I talk about the before I am sometimes relcutant to talk about the hardships. There for it making it hard for others to understand me and my story.
There are times when I feel I share to much and then not enough at times.