Avril lavigne the day you slipped away lyrics

Flying solo

Sadness seems the best word to describe my state today.  I have a difficult time letting go, not just of life's hurts but with ppl, things that have sentimental value or memories that I so desperately don't want to misplace in the confusion that is my mind. Happiness never seems to last for long. As much as I want to be done grieving Robert's loss, I definitely need to accept I haven't and let myself ..... maybe it's my way of holding on....

My Dr told me I am afraid of letting myself be happy. Is it fear or unjustified quilt that holds me back from truly allowing myself a life that is turmoil free? When examining patterns I see a combination of both and I have a tendency to repeatedly be my own worst enemy.

I hear everyone say how far I have come, yet the echo's of the words and feelings that I know I have hurt the ones I love the most force themselves ahead. When change is introduced I feel dread and concentrate on what could go wrong, a fear of abandonment is always waiting in the balance of fight or flight.

When moments come and go, was it so hard to move forward from the past, I can only think it is.