I use to get on my hands and knees as a young child and pray every night and say my prayers. Now I pray through out the day when I do pray when working my program several times to my HP.
Today they are putting Robert to Rest in his home town of Houghton MI. I have been replaying, hashing out and asking a lot of questions in my mind all over again since receiving the FB message from his step mom LMK when his burial was. I knew it was in Aug I just wasn't sure of the date until a little over a week and a half ago.
I have cried more in the last cpl weeks and have really understood and seen more of the effects of the impact and also felt them I feel them most recently out side my emotional and mental state.
Having a lot of anxiety isn't helping the situation much and I am trying to keep busy but my mind is a cconstantly flooded with thoughts and I am very preoccupied with them right now. Catching my self in them I try to direct my attention else where and focus on other things but I feel that is maybe agitating what I need to work through.
On the other spectrum you have the emotional strong arm of me having enough of the grief and tears and seeking happier times are very much desired by me. i am thinking even to the point where I am pre thinking out how something should go and if it doesn't go as planned I am disappointed . Something I need to work on and be aware of.
I pray my HP give me strength, guidance and assurance of his presence. I am vulnerable in so many was and bull headed in others.
Now I lay me.................
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